Over 500 Short Riddles
Here is an extensive list of short riddles:
1. Why do bees hum?
Answer: Because they don’t know the words.
2. How long is a shoe?
Answer: A foot long
3. How can 8 + 8 = 4?
Answer: When you think in terms of time. 8 a.m. + 8 hours = 4 o’clock.
4. When are cooks mean?
Answer: When they beat the eggs and whip the cream.
5. How does Easter end?
Answer: With an “r”
6. Why are fish so smart?
Answer: Because they travel in schools.
7. When is a pig like ink?
Answer: When you put it in a pen.
8. Why do birds fly South?
Answer: Because it’s too far to walk.
9. When are words musical?
Answer: When they have a ring to them.
10. Why do we all go to bed?
Answer: Because the bed will not come to us.
11. What comes after cheese?
Answer: Mice!
12. What month has one day?
Answer: All of them!
13. What makes a road broad?
Answer: The letter b
14. What bird is always sad?
Answer: A blue jay
15. What nation always wins?
Answer: Determi-nation
16. Which bird is very rude?
Answer: The mocking bird
17. When is it right to lie?
Answer: When you are in bed.
18. What ant is the youngest?
Answer: Infant
19. What do tarantulas drink?
Answer: Apple spider
20. When is a door not a door?
Answer: When it’s a-jar.
21. What does x-p-d-n-c spell?
Answer: Expediency
22. What gets wet as it dries?
Answer: A towel
23. When does a ship fool you?
Answer: When it lies at the wharf.
24. Which fish costs the most?
Answer: A goldfish.
25. When are houses like books?
Answer: When they have stories.
26. What plant stands for four?
Answer: Ivy (IV)
27. What makes a pair of shoes?
Answer: Two shoes
28. What bus crossed the ocean?
Answer: Columbus
29. What room can no one enter?
Answer: A mushroom
30. What nation do people dread?
Answer: Condem-nation
31. How can you make pants last?
Answer: Make the coats and vests first.
32. Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Answer: Because you can see right through them.
33. What can run but can’t walk?
Answer: Water.
34. What chins are never shaved?
Answer: Ur-chins
35. What is the smartest state?
Answer: Alabama—it has four A’s and one B!
36. How do you make anti-freeze?
Answer: Take away her blanket.
37. Where was Solomon’s temple?
Answer: On the side of his head
38. What dance do bakers prefer?
Answer: A-bun-dance
39. Name a lock no one can pick.
Answer: A lock of hair from a bald head
40. Why did the moth eat the rug?
Answer: To see the floor show
41. What is at the end of dinner?
Answer: The letter R
42. What has eyes but can’t see?
Answer: A potato
43. What kind of a dot can dance?
Answer: A polka dot
44. Why can’t the world ever end?
Answer: Because it’s round.
45. Why are clouds like coachmen?
Answer: They hold the reins (rains).
46. When is a chair like a dress?
Answer: When it is sat-in.
47. How is a nobleman like a book?
Answer: He has a title.
48. Which dogs never go to heaven?
Answer: Hot dogs.
49. Where do you take a sick boat?
Answer: To the dock-tor.
50. What goes “Ha, ha, ha, THUD?”
Answer: A zombie laughing his head off
51. Where does a dog keep its car?
Answer: In a barking lot
52. Which month has 28 days in it?
Answer: All months
53. I am a bow that can’t be tied.
Answer: A rainbow.
54. What is the end of everything?
Answer: The letter “G.”
55. How many months have 28 days?
Answer: All 12.
56. When is music like vegetables?
Answer: When there are two beats (beets) to the measure.
57. What gets wetter as it dries?
Answer: A towel.
58. Which is faster: heat or cold?
Answer: Heat. You can catch a cold.
59. What is the end of everything?
Answer: The letter “g”
60. What has a neck, but no head?
Answer: A bottle.
61. Why is a riddle like a parrot?
Answer: It is far-fetched and full of nonsense.
62. What’s a frog’s favorite game?
Answer: Leapfrog.
63. What tune makes everybody glad?
Answer: Fortune
64. Why is “A” like twelve o’clock?
Answer: Because it is in the middle of the day.
65. What kind of dog can tell time?
Answer: A watchdog
66. Spell “enemy” in three letters.
Answer: F O E
67. What has legs but cannot walk?
Answer: A stool.
68. How can you find a lost rabbit?
Answer: Make a noise like a carrot.
69. How do you make a banana shake?
Answer: Take it to a scary movie.
70. Why does a baby pig eat so much?
Answer: To make a hog out of himself
71. How was the snow globe feeling?
Answer: A little shaken
72. What is the most warlike nation?
Answer: Vacci-nation, because it is always in arms.
73. What has a mouth but never eats?
Answer: A river
74. What kind of pie looks the best?
Answer: A Q-T pie
75. What driver never gets arrested?
Answer: A screwdriver
76. Why is the letter E like London?
Answer: They’re both the capital of England.
77. What has 1,000 legs and no feet?
Answer: 500 pairs of pants
78. Who wears shoes while sleeping?
Answer: A horse.
79. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Mice pudding
80. Who was older: David or Goliath?
Answer: David, because he rocked Goliath to sleep.
81. What has cities, but no houses?
Answer: A map.
82. What goes up and never goes down?
Answer: Your age
83. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
Answer: Because a little goes a long way.
84. What can you catch but not throw?
Answer: A cold
85. What nationality is Santa Claus?
Answer: North Polish
86. What age is served for breakfast?
Answer: Sausage
87. What part of London is in France?
Answer: The letter N
88. What has a bed, but never sleeps?
Answer: A river
89. What is at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: The letter “W.”
90. What did one wall say to another?
Answer: Meet you at the corner.
91. How far is it from March to June?
Answer: A single spring
92. Why is the letter D like a sailor?
Answer: It follows the C (sea).
93. Why are lobsters like politicians?
Answer: Because they change color when they get into hot water.
94. What did the rug say to the floor?
Answer: Don’t move—I have you covered.
95. What did the sea say to the sand?
Answer: Nothing, he just waved.
96. What pets make the sweetest music?
Answer: Trumpets
97. What goes up but never comes down?
Answer: Your age
98. How many sides does a circle have?
Answer: Two; outside and inside.
99. How far can you go into the woods?
Answer: As far as the center, and then you’ll be going out.
100. What animal drops from the clouds?
Answer: The rain, dear
101. Where is a sneeze usually pointed?
Answer: Atchoo!
102. Why are hair salons so terrifying?
Answer: Because people are always dying there.
103. What Jack has a head but no body?
Answer: A jack-o-lantern
104. What are the biggest kind of ants?
Answer: Gi-ants
105. What kind of ears do engines have?
Answer: Engineers
106. What’s the capital in Washington?
Answer: W
107. What do you call a hippie’s wife?
Answer: Mississippi
108. Why should you never punish a cat?
Answer: Because it’s already purrfect.
109. Why was Washington buried standing?
Answer: Because he couldn’t lie.
110. How many sides does a square have?
Answer: 4
111. Why should you take a ruler to bed?
Answer: To see how long you slept
112. How many sides does a circle have?
Answer: Two. The inside and the outside
113. What is lost and never found again?
Answer: Time
114. What goes up and never comes down?
Answer: Your age.
115. How do shells get around the ocean?
Answer: A taxi crab.
116. What did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Answer: Nothing. It was on the house.
117. Where do skeletons walk their dogs?
Answer: The boneyard.
118. How do you catch a school of fish?
Answer: A bookworm.
119. What has many eyes and never cries?
Answer: A potato
120. How do you look at a hippo’s teeth?
Answer: Very carefully
121. Why is an island like the letter T?
Answer: Because it’s in the middle of water.
122. What table has no legs to stand on?
Answer: A multiplication table
123. What kind of train has a head cold?
Answer: Achoo achoo train
124. What comes before 11 and after 15?
Answer: 10 and 16.
125. What has 18 legs and catches flies?
Answer: A baseball team
126. How do fish decorate for Christmas?
Answer: They hang reefs.
127. My teddy bear is never hungry. Why?
Answer: He’s stuffed.
128. What building has the most stories?
Answer: A library.
129. What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All months have at least 28 days.
130. Why is your nose not 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot.
131. What is the best and cheapest light?
Answer: Daylight
132. What’s the best way to catch a fish?
Answer: Have someone throw it to you.
133. What goes up, but never comes down?
Answer: Age.
134. How do you get down off an elephant?
Answer: You don’t get down off an elephant. You get down off a duck.
135. When is a blue book not a blue book?
Answer: When it’s read (red).
136. How can parents make Easter easier?
Answer: Replace the “t” with an “i”
137. Where can happiness always be found?
Answer: In the dictionary
138. What 10-letter word starts with GAS?
Answer: AUTOMOBILE!
139. How can you keep fish from smelling?
Answer: Cut off their noses.
140. How is a wedding ring like eternity?
Answer: It has no beginning and no end.
141. Where does a snowman keep his money?
Answer: In a snowbank
142. Why did Babe Ruth make so much money?
Answer: Because a good batter makes good dough.
143. Where were the first doughnuts fried?
Answer: In Greece (grease)
144. What word is always pronounced wrong?
Answer: Wrong
145. Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
Answer: The turkey, because it’s always stuffed
146. How far can a fox run into a grove?
Answer: Only halfway—then he’s running out of it!
147. How is Ireland like a bottle of wine?
Answer: It has a Cork in it.
148. What kind of insect hates Christmas?
Answer: A humbug
149. What do both a tooth and a tree have?
Answer: Roots
150. Where does Monday come before Sunday?
Answer: In the dictionary
151. Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich?
Answer: Because the poor had no money.
152. What never uses its teeth for eating?
Answer: A comb
153. What two keys cannot open any doors?
Answer: Monkey and donkey.
154. What vegetable is unpopular on a ship?
Answer: A leek (leak)
155. What is the largest rope in the world?
Answer: Europe
156. What are King Kong’s favorite cookies?
Answer: Chocolate chimp
157. What’s the problem with twin witches?
Answer: You never know which witch is which!
158. What did Adam do when he wanted sugar?
Answer: Raised Cain
159. Why is a bad pin like a broken pencil?
Answer: Because it has no point.
160. What is full of holes but holds water?
Answer: A sponge
161. How does Santa keep his breath fresh?
Answer: With an orna-mint
162. How can Sarah go 8 days without sleep?
Answer: She only sleeps at night.
163. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Answer: Hold its nose.
164. What did the dirt say when it rained?
Answer: If this keeps up, my name is mud!
165. How do oceans say hello to each other?
Answer: They wave
166. How much fur can you get from a skunk?
Answer: As fur as possible
167. What three-letter word is a mousetrap?
Answer: Cat
168. What time of the day was Adam created?
Answer: Just a little before Eve
169. Why do some monkeys sell potato chips?
Answer: Because they’re chip monks.
170. How is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Answer: They both have sandy claws.
171. What smells the most in a candle store?
Answer: Your nose
172. How is a Bible scholar like a merchant?
Answer: Because he studies the prophets (profits).
173. How is your hand like a hardware store?
Answer: It has nails.
174. What’s the best way to catch a rabbit?
Answer: Pretend to be a carrot
175. Which is the strongest day of the week?
Answer: Sunday; the rest are weekdays.
176. What are eight 8s that add up to 1,000?
Answer: 8 + 8 + 8 + 88 + 888 = 1,000.
177. Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
Answer: He wanted to visit Pluto.
178. What has a head and tail but no body? .
Answer: A coin
179. Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Answer: They use fowl language.
180. When is an altered dress like a secret?
Answer: When it is let out.
181. What fruit is mentioned most in history?
Answer: Dates
182. What goes up and down, but never moves?
Answer: The temperature.
183. What will be yesterday but was tomorrow?
Answer: Today
184. When does a public speaker steal lumber?
Answer: When he takes the floor.
185. What did Santa’s elves learn in school?
Answer: The elf-abet
186. How do kids know Santa is in the house?
Answer: They sense his presents.
187. Why is the music teacher a good teacher?
Answer: Because she is a sound instructor.
188. I taste better than I smell. What am I?
Answer: A tongue
189. When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
Answer: When you’re a mouse
190. Which man shaves 20 or more times a day?
Answer: A barber
191. What has 13 hearts but no other organs?
Answer: A deck of playing cards
192. Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
Answer: The baa-baa shop
193. What must you add to nine to make it six?
Answer: S (S + IX = six)
194. What did the turkey say to the computer?
Answer: Google, google!
195. How do you spell candy with two letters?
Answer: C and Y (C-and-Y)
196. What gets bigger the more you take away?
Answer: A hole.
197. What state is famous for tiny beverages?
Answer: Mini-soda
198. What American has had the largest family?
Answer: George Washington, the father of his country
199. Why is the sun like a good loaf of bread?
Answer: Because it’s light when it rises.
200. What is the smallest bridge in the world?
Answer: The bridge of your nose
201. Do they have a 4th of July in Australia?
Answer: Yep. It’s right after the 3rd and before the 5th.
202. What cat said, “The British are coming!”
Answer: Paw Revere
203. What kind of paper tells you who you are?
Answer: Tissue (‘tis you)
204. What can be stolen, but never leave you?
Answer: Your identity.
205. What is taken from you before you get it?
Answer: Your picture
206. What is the highest building in your city?
Answer: The library has the most stories.
207. I have no life, but I can die. What am I?
Answer: A battery.
208. What letter of the alphabet is a question?
Answer: Y
209. What is the most difficult train to catch?
Answer: The 12:50, because it’s 10 to one if you catch it.
210. What is everything doing at the same time?
Answer: Growing older
211. What happens when a sheep studies karate?
Answer: A lamb chop.
212. What’s black and white and read all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
213. What is black and white and has 16 wheels?
Answer: A zebra on roller skates
214. When is the worst time to build a snowman?
Answer: Summertime
215. What is the most moral musical instrument?
Answer: An upright piano
216. How do you make the word “one” disappear?
Answer: Add a “G” in front and it’s gone
217. What do you call a very, very young robin?
Answer: An egg
218. When should a baker quit making doughnuts?
Answer: When he gets sick of the hole business.
219. What question can never be answered “Yes”?
Answer: “Are you asleep?”
220. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Answer: Smiles. There is a mile between the first and last letters.
221. Why are bruised bananas still good to eat?
Answer: They’re appealing.
222. What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport?
Answer: Basketball
223. What pen should never be used for writing?
Answer: A pig pen
224. Where was the dog when the lights went out?
Answer: In the dark
225. Which burns longer: a wax or tallow candle?
Answer: Neither; both burn shorter.
226. I come down, but I never go up. What am I?
Answer: Rain
227. What flies all day but never goes anywhere?
Answer: A flag
228. What is white, but smells like blue paint?
Answer: White paint.
229. How can you keep an elephant from charging?
Answer: Take away its credit card
230. Who always goes to sleep with his shoes on?
Answer: A horse
231. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
Answer: He wanted his quarterback.
232. Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?
Answer: Because its head is so far from its body.
233. What birds have 4 feet and yellow feathers?
Answer: Two canaries
234. How can we become wiser from a box of pins?
Answer: It will give us many good points.
235. What do you call a cat who drinks lemonade?
Answer: A sourpuss
236. Where will you find Friday before Thursday?
Answer: In a dictionary
237. On which side of a church does a tree grow?
Answer: On the outside
238. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
Answer: IHOP
239. What did the big toe say to the little toe?
Answer: Don’t look now, but there’s a heel following us.
240. You go at red, but stop at green. What am I?
Answer: A watermelon. You eat the red part, and you stop eating at the green part.
241. On what day of the year do women talk least?
Answer: On the shortest day of the year
242. Add 10 to nothing. What animal does it make?
Answer: O X (ox)
243. Why can’t it rain for two days continuously?
Answer: Because there is always a night in between.
244. In what time do people do all their talking?
Answer: In a lifetime
245. What’s the easiest way to double your money?
Answer: Fold it.
246. What is full of holes and still holds water?
Answer: A sponge
247. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Answer: Catch you later!
248. Where will you find Friday before Thursday?
Answer: A dictionary.
249. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: Zero. Noah took them.
250. What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
251. What’s the best present for a deaf goldfish?
Answer: A herring aid
252. How many times can you subtract 10 from 25?
Answer: Once. After you subtract 10 from 25 the first time, it becomes 15.
253. When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
Answer: When it’s a french fry
254. What can be heard and caught but never seen?
Answer: A remark.
255. What kind of shoes are made of banana skins?
Answer: Slippers
256. Where is the largest diamond in Boston kept?
Answer: On a baseball field
257. Why did the coconut go out with a pineapple?
Answer: He couldn’t get a date.
258. What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep?
259. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Answer: Cookie sheets
260. What has to be broken before you can eat it?
Answer: An egg.
261. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: Moses didn’t take anything on the ark. Noah did!
262. What’s the best band to make you feel better?
Answer: A band-aid.
263. What are the most difficult ships to conquer?
Answer: Hard-ships
264. Why are the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Answer: Because there were so many nights (knights).
265. You can’t keep this until you have given it.
Answer: Your promise
266. What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg (egg-cept on Easter!)
267. What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
268. Why is a pulled tooth like a thing forgotten?
Answer: It’s out of the head.
269. If you don’t keep me, I’ll break. What am I?
Answer: A promise.
270. Why do you always put on your left shoe last?
Answer: Once you put on one, the other is left.
271. Why is distance at sea not measured by miles?
Answer: Because it’s knot
272. How can you tell which rabbit is the oldest?
Answer: Look for the gray hare.
273. What is the fastest way to double your money?
Answer: Place it in front of the mirror.
274. With what two animals do you always go to bed?
Answer: Two calves
275. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Monti-jello
276. What can’t run, even though it has three feet?
Answer: A yardstick
277. What is always in front of you but invisible?
Answer: The future.
278. Who’s bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?
Answer: Mr. Bigger’s baby—he’s a little bigger.
279. What does the Easter Bunny say when it burps?
Answer: Eggs-cuse me!
280. What is that we often return and never borrow?
Answer: Thanks
281. What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.
282. Why should a horse not be hungry on a journey?
Answer: Because he has a bit in his mouth.
283. Why did the British cross the Atlantic Ocean?
Answer: To get to the other tide
284. How do we know they had fruit onboard the ark?
Answer: Because the animals went in pairs (pears).
285. When the water comes down, I go up. What am I?
Answer: An umbrella.
286. Why does a spider make a good baseball player?
Answer: Because he catches flies.
287. If 20 dogs run after one dog, what time is it?
Answer: Twenty after one
288. What is the best thing to take before singing?
Answer: A breath
289. Which side of a grizzly bear has the most fur?
Answer: The outside
290. If a boy wears his pants out, what will he do?
Answer: Wear them in again.
291. Why is the Stock Exchange a den of wild beasts?
Answer: It’s full of bulls and bears.
292. What’s the best way to eat a devil’s-food cake?
Answer: With a pitchfork.
293. What has 88 teeth, but has never brushed them?
Answer: A piano.
294. How can you make five less by adding one to it?
Answer: IV
295. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
Answer: A towel
296. What do giraffes have that no other animal has?
Answer: Little giraffes
297. What game is dangerous for your mental health?
Answer: Marbles; you don’t want to lose them.
298. What does a witch do when she goes to a hotel?
Answer: She orders broom service.
299. Where does Easter come before Valentine’s Day?
Answer: In the dictionary
300. What do we see made, but never after it’s made?
Answer: A noise
301. What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Answer: Your name
302. Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
Answer: He kept quacking all the eggs!
303. What has holes all over, but still holds water?
Answer: A sponge.
304. When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
Answer: Every year
305. What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Answer: Your name
306. What did Adam never have, but give his children?
Answer: Parents
307. Why did the girl go outside with her purse open?
Answer: She was expecting some change in the weather.
308. Where did Noah strike the first nail in the ark?
Answer: On the head
309. What did the duck say when it laid a square egg?
Answer: Ouch!
310. I have a face and arms, but no legs. What am I?
Answer: A clock.
311. What types of roads do ghosts like to drive on?
Answer: Dead ends
312. Why was the watchdog spinning around and around?
Answer: He was winding himself up.
313. What divides by uniting, and unites by dividing?
Answer: Scissors
314. Why was the computer so quiet on Christmas Eve?
Answer: Because not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
315. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
Answer: On their feet
316. What flower does a person carry around all year?
Answer: Tulips
317. What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Answer: Lunch and dinner.
318. What kind of room has no walls, door or windows?
Answer: A mushroom.
319. How can you know when it’s raining cats and dogs?
Answer: Step into a poodle
320. What are the most unsociable things in the world?
Answer: Milestones, because you never see two of them together.
321. What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Answer: Lunch and dinner
322. What contains more feet in winter than in summer?
Answer: A skating rink
323. What’s the most dangerous letter in the alphabet?
Answer: The killer B
324. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
Answer: The letter “C”
325. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom
326. What peels like an onion but still remains whole?
Answer: A lizard.
327. I am easy to lift, but hard to throw. What am I?
Answer: A feather.
328. What is the difference between a coat and a baby?
Answer: The one you wear, the other you were
329. What asks no questions but requires many answers?
Answer: A doorbell
330. I have 13 hearts, but no other organs? What am I?
Answer: A deck of cards.
331. What is used by others, but only belongs to you?
Answer: Your name.
332. People buy me to eat, but never eat me. What am I?
Answer: Plates and cutlery.
333. If Jack’s father is Joe’s son, who is Jack to Joe?
Answer: Joe is his grandfather.
334. Why did the golfer put on a second pair of pants?
Answer: He hot a hole in one.
335. What do you call a fairy that hasn’t taken a bath?
Answer: Stinker Bell
336. What letter of the alphabet is the opposite of me?
Answer: U
337. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Answer: An elephant’s shadow.
338. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom
339. When is a sheepdog most likely to go into a house?
Answer: When the door is open.
340. Why did Johnny get bad grades after Thanksgiving?
Answer: Because everything is marked down after the holidays!
341. What is always answered without being questioned?
Answer: A doorbell.
342. I am a number with a couple of friends. What am I?
Answer: Three
343. What’s the difference between a nickel and a penny?
Answer: Four cents
344. Why should soldiers be tired on the first of April?
Answer: Because they just had to march 31 days.
345. I’m a god, a planet, and I measure heat. What am I?
Answer: Mercury
346. I jump when I walk and sit when I stand. What am I?
Answer: A kangaroo.
347. Of what trade is the president of the United States?
Answer: A cabinet-maker
348. On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?
Answer: The outside
349. What’s the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
Answer: Close your eyes.
350. Where do Santa and his elves like to go for a swim?
Answer: The North pool
351. If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
Answer: 9
352. What’s much better staying down than it is going up?
Answer: Vomit
353. Which is better: an old 10 dollar bill or a new one?
Answer: An old TEN dollar bill rather than a new ONE
354. If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
Answer: 9!
355. Which branch of the military is a bunny’s favorite?
Answer: The hare force
356. What are crispy and crunchy and sail the ocean blue?
Answer: Potato ships
357. Everyone has it, but no one can lose it. What is it?
Answer: A shadow.
358. What should a man know before trying to teach a dog?
Answer: More than the dog
359. What happens when a giant walks through your garden?
Answer: All your vegetables turn to squash.
360. I will fill a room, but take up no space. What am I?
Answer: Light.
361. What is the hardest kind of bean to raise on a farm?
Answer: Jelly beans
362. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world?
Answer: Because he can hold up a 10-ton truck with one hand
363. What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on?
Answer: A coat of paint
364. Why is the girl getting a suntan like a small bucket?
Answer: They’re both a little pale.
365. What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
Answer: A yardstick
366. What pet does better in the house than in the garage?
Answer: A carpet.
367. Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Answer: The word “not.”
368. What always comes into a house through the keyhole?
Answer: A key
369. What can pass before the sun without making a shadow?
Answer: The wind
370. What has many keys, but cannot unlock a single door?
Answer: A piano.
371. What do you call it when your parachute doesn’t open?
Answer: Jumping to a conclusion
372. How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Just one and she’ll change it into a toad.
373. What coat is finished without buttons and put on wet?
Answer: A coat of paint
374. The more you take away, the more I become. What am I?
Answer: A hole.
375. What it it called when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal?
Answer: A dino-score.
376. What did King George think of the American colonists?
Answer: He thought they were revolting.
377. What do you call a carpenter who can’t find his tools?
Answer: A saw loser
378. What is special about these words: job, polish, herb?
Answer: They are pronounced differently when the first letter is capitalized.
379. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Answer: Once, because after you subtract 5 once, it’s not 25 anymore.
380. Why does Uncle Sam wear red-white-and-blue suspenders?
Answer: To hold up his pants
381. I’m the only mammal that can’t jump. What animal am I?
Answer: An elephant.
382. What is the difference between fog and a falling star?
Answer: One is mist on earth and the other is missed in heaven.
383. What do you call a group of rabbits marching backward?
Answer: A receding hare line
384. What can’t you see, even though it’s always before you?
Answer: The future
385. When is 1500 plus 20 and 1600 minus 40 the same thing?
Answer: When it’s military time.
386. Why is a room full of married folks like an empty room?
Answer: Because there is not a single person in it.
387. What is the difference between a tuna fish and a piano?
Answer: You can’t tune a fish.
388. Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington today?
Answer: Because he died in 1799.
389. When is 1500 plus 20 and 1600 minus 40 the same thing?
Answer: When it’s military time
390. Why is a star in the heavens like a window in the roof?
Answer: Because it’s a sky-light.
391. What is so brittle that even to name it is to break it?
Answer: Silence
392. How many bananas can you eat if your stomach is empty?
Answer: Just one—after that, it’s not empty anymore.
393. What English word has three consecutive double letters?
Answer: Bookkeeper.
394. People make me, save me, change me, raise me. What am I?
Answer: Money.
395. People buy me to eat, but I cannot be eaten. What am I?
Answer: A plate.
396. When Santa sprained his ankle, what did he use to walk?
Answer: A candy cane
397. What is the last thing you take off before going to bed?
Answer: Your feet from the floor.
398. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Answer: Footsteps.
399. What does the duck say when he hears his stomach rumble?
Answer: “Oh, I have a stomach quake.”
400. What goes through a door but never goes in or comes out?
Answer: A keyhole
401. Though I dance at a ball, I am nothing at all. What am I?
Answer: A shadow
402. What word contains 26 letters, but only three syllables?
Answer: Alphabet.
403. I’m always in front of you but can’t be seen. What am I?
Answer: The future
404. I have two long ears, and I don’t walk, I hop. What am I?
Answer: A rabbit.
405. What state is round at both ends, and high in the middle?
Answer: OHIO
406. People make me, save me, change me, raise me. What am I?
Answer: Money
407. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Answer: Footsteps.
408. What are the longest parts of a cross-country train trip?
Answer: The long E in country and the long A in train.
409. What word becomes shorter when a syllable is added to it?
Answer: The word short
410. The alphabet goes from A to Z but I go Z to A. What am I?
Answer: A zebra
411. What were the colors of the wind and the waves in a storm?
Answer: The wind blew (blue), and the waves rose.
412. What letter in the Dutch alphabet will name a titled lady?
Answer: Dutch-S
413. I have two hands, but I can not scratch myself. What am I?
Answer: A clock
414. Bobby’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___?
Answer: Bobby.
415. What word begins and ends in “E,” but only has one letter?
Answer: Envelope.
416. The more of this there is, the less you can see. WhatAm I?
Answer: Darkness.
417. Why can’t a woman living in the U.S. be buried in Canada?
Answer: Because she’s still alive!
418. What’s the worst season of the year for tightrope walkers?
Answer: The fall
419. I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. What am I?
Answer: A Barber
420. I have branches, but no fruit, trunk or leaves. What am I?
Answer: A bank
421. What song do animals in the jungle listen to on July 4th?
Answer: Tarzan Stripes Forever
422. Take off my skin and I won’t cry, but you will! What am I?
Answer: An onion.
423. Which five-letter Irish name can be spelled with just two?
Answer: KC
424. What did Paul Revere say when he finished his famous ride?
Answer: “Whoa!”
425. What is something brown with a head and tail, but no legs?
Answer: A penny.
426. What kind of ball must you never throw, kick, hit or pitch?
Answer: An eyeball.
427. Kids can make it, but never hold it or see it. What is it?
Answer: Noise.
428. What Easter treat can you find at the bottom of the ocean?
Answer: Oyster eggs
429. 81 x 9 = 801. What must you do to make this equation true?
Answer: Flip it upside down. 108 = 6 x 18
430. I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Answer: A Pencil
431. Which word in the dictionary is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly.
432. What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
Answer: The pavement
433. What was the difference between Noah’s ark and Joan of Arc?
Answer: One was made of wood and the other was Maid of Orleans.
434. What is gray, has four legs, big ears, a tail, and a trunk?
Answer: A mouse going on vacation
435. Is it possible for a woman to go 10 days without sleeping?
Answer: Yes, she will sleep at night.
436. What was the largest island before Australia was discovered?
Answer: Australia was always the largest.
437. I have branches, but no fruit, trunk, or leaves. What am I?
Answer: A bank
438. How many gold coins can a leprechaun throw in an empty pot?
Answer: One. After that, it’s no longer empty.
439. What do the Pilgrims, Indians, and Puritans have in common?
Answer: The letter “I”
440. What is so fragile that saying its name will make it break?
Answer: Silence.
441. What has every living person seen, but will never see again?
Answer: Yesterday
442. What is the difference between a greyhound and a locomotive?
Answer: One is trained to run and the other runs a train.
443. What should you do if you catch a dog eating your dictionary?
Answer: Take the words right out of his mouth.
444. What does a person usually grow in a garden if he works hard?
Answer: Tired
445. Where can you always find “gold,” but there’s no gold at all?
Answer: In the dictionary
446. What has neither flesh nor bone, but has fingers and a thumb?
Answer: A glove
447. What loses a head in the morning, but gets it back at night?
Answer: A pillow.
448. I add 5 to 9 and get 2. The answer is correct, so what am I?
Answer: A clock. When it is 9 a.m., adding 5 hours would make it 2 p.m.
449. Why is the Statue of Liberty standing in the New York harbor?
Answer: Because she can’t sit down.
450. What is that which is bought by the yard and worn by the foot?
Answer: Carpet
451. What is the difference between a howling wind and an umbrella?
Answer: You can shut an umbrella up.
452. A woman fell from a 30-foot ladder without getting hurt. How?
Answer: She was standing on the bottom rung.
453. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
Answer: Missile toe
454. I go around the world, but never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
455. What has the head of a cat, the tail of a cat—but is not a cat?
Answer: A kitten
456. A boy fell off a 20-foot ladder but did not get hurt. Why not?
Answer: He fell off the bottom step.
457. What happens when you cross a bulldog with a Plymouth Rock hen?
Answer: The hen lays pooched eggs.
458. I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Answer: A candle
459. Who is the most impolite and disrespectful of all the reindeer?
Answer: Rude-olf
460. What word, by changing a single letter, becomes its own opposite?
Answer: United (untied)
461. I begin and end with E but I only contain one letter. What am I?
Answer: An envelope
462. What’s the one place you can be sure you’ll never read your name?
Answer: Your gravestone.
463. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole?
Answer: All the difference in the world
464. If a tiger had a Christmas music album, what would it be called?
Answer: Jungle Bells
465. What word will, if you take away the first letter, make you sick?
Answer: Music
466. What’s the first thing that happens when a boy jumps in the lake?
Answer: He gets wet.
467. I move up and down all day but I never actually move. What am I?
Answer: The temperature
468. What is the surest way to keep water from getting into your house?
Answer: Don’t pay your water bill.
469. What goes uphill and downhill, and always stays in the same place?
Answer: A road
470. What can a person place in his right hand but not in his left hand?
Answer: His left elbow
471. What did the duckling say when he saw his first colored Easter egg?
Answer: “Ooh, look at the orange marmalade.”
472. I am equally comfortable in your mouth and in your shoe. What am I?
Answer: A tongue.
473. If you threw a black stone into the Red Sea, what would it become?
Answer: Wet.
474. What 5-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Answer: “Short”
475. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
Answer: A rash of good luck
476. You use me to clean, but the powerful take me for a ride. What am I?
Answer: A broom.
477. What would you call a man who does not have all fingers on one hand?
Answer: A man, because humans have fingers on both hands.
478. Can you write down eight eights so that they add up to one thousand?
Answer: 888 + 88 + 8 + 8 + 8 = 1000
479. What did the near-sighted porcupine say when it backed into a cactus?
Answer: “Pardon me, honey.”
480. After an electric train crashed, every single person died. Who lived?
Answer: The couples.
481. Play me with a ball and bat or hear me chirp in a top hat. What am I?
Answer: A cricket.
482. If your uncle’s sister is not your aunt, what is her relation to you?
Answer: She is your mother.
483. At Thanksgiving dinner, which hand should you butter your roll with?
Answer: Neither—you should use a knife.
484. On Calvary, there were three, not six. It’s also known as a crucifix.
Answer: A cross
485. Three times what number is no larger than two times that same number?
Answer: 0
486. When you go out in a blizzard and you see a vampire, what do you get?
Answer: Frostbite
487. What’s 102 stories high, wears a black cape, and has very sharp teeth?
Answer: The vampire state building
488. Give me air and I will live. Give me water and I will die. What am I?
Answer: Fire.
489. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Answer: Their age
490. A butcher is 6 feet tall and wears a size 12 shoe. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat, of course
491. What is small, round, and colorful and gets hidden over and over again?
Answer: An Easter egg.
492. What do you get if you put a mother duck and five ducklings into a box?
Answer: A box of quackers
493. What trembles at each breath of air, but can bear the heaviest burdens?
Answer: Water
494. What is too much for one, enough for two, but nothing at all for three?
Answer: A secret
495. Your eyes are open and I’m there. Close them. I’m there too. What am I?
Answer: The Dark
496. I am a ball that can be rolled but never bounced or thrown. What am I?
Answer: An eyeball
497. How many times can you subtract the number two from the number fifty?
Answer: Once. After that you’re subtracting it from 48.
498. Why did John’s mother knit him three stockings when he was in the army?
Answer: Because John wrote her that had gotten so tall he had grown another foot.
499. I have a mane but I’m not a lion and I wear my shoes to bed. What am I?
Answer: A horse.
500. What would you say if everyone in the country sneezed at the same time?
Answer: God bless America!
501. Which number stays the same no matter what number you multiply it with?
Answer: 0
502. A sphere has three, a circle has two, and a point has zero. What is it?
Answer: Dimensions
503. There’s a question you can never answer yes to. Do you know what it is?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
504. What is the difference between twice twenty-two and twice two and twenty?
Answer: One is 44, the other 24
505. Racoons are racing around the tree. Can you spell that without any “r’s”?
Answer: T-H-A-T
506. I travel all around the world but always stay in the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp
507. If there are three lollipops and you take away two, how many do you have?
Answer: If you take two, then you have two.
508. Three men jump into the water, but only two come out with wet hair. Why?
Answer: The third man was bald.
509. What relation is that child to its father who is not its father’s own son?
Answer: His daughter
510. How can you make one pound of green tea go as far as five pounds of black?
Answer: Buy both in New York and send them to Maine.
511. If you gave one friend 15 cents and another a dime, what time would it be?
Answer: A quarter to two
512. Two in a corner, 1 in a room, 0 in a house, but 1 in a shelter. What am I?
Answer: The letter r.
513. How many soft-boiled eggs could the giant Goliath eat on an empty stomach?
Answer: One, after which his stomach would not be empty.
514. An electric train is heading east at 400mph. How fast will the smoke blow?
Answer: Electric trains do not produce smoke.
515. I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I?
Answer: A joke.
516. I’m where yesterday follows today and tomorrow is in the middle. What am I?
Answer: A dictionary.
517. What’s in the middle of March and April but never at the beginning or end?
Answer: The letter “R”
518. Carrie’s birthday is in April, which is in the fall. How is this possible?
Answer: Carrie lives in Australia.
519. A green jacket covers my arms. Don’t ever steal my Lucky Charms. Who am I?
Answer: A leprechaun
520. I have a bed but I never sleep. I have a mouth but I never speak. What am I?
Answer: River
521. I wear a tuxedo in the snow and skate on my tummy across the ice. What am I?
Answer: A penguin.
522. I have eyes but I can’t see. I live in the dark until you need me. What am I?
Answer: A potato.
523. What did Mrs. Claus say when Santa asked about the weather on Christmas Eve?
Answer: “Looks like rain, dear.”
524. What is as light as a feather, yet no person can hold it for long. What am I?
Answer: Your breath
525. I am so delicate that just saying my name will cause me to break. What am I?
Answer: Silence
526. What comes once a minute, twice every moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter “M”
527. Always in you, Sometimes on you; If I surround you, I can kill you. What am I?
Answer: Water.
528. I have horns but I can’t beep. I like to bleat but I’m not a sheep. What am I?
Answer: A goat.
529. Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I?
Answer: A match
530. If the end of the year is on December 31st, then what is the end of Christmas?
Answer: An “S”
531. I live in the ocean and move slowly. I eat clams and have five arms. What am I?
Answer: A starfish.
532. I have ears but I cannot hear and I have flakes but I have no hair. What am I?
Answer: Corn
533. Three men were under one umbrella but none of them got wet. How did they do it?
Answer: It wasn’t raining.
534. What occurs twice in a moment, once in a minute, and never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter M
537. What word has six letters, but if you remove one letter, you’ll be left with 12?
Answer: Dozens.
538. It doesn’t hurt when you carve my face. In fact, you bring me to life. What am I?
Answer: A jack-o’-lantern.
539. Imagine you are in trapped in a closet with a locked door. How will you get out?
Answer: Stop imagining.
541. How can you divide 17 apples equally among 11 boys if four of them are very small?
Answer: By making them into applesauce
542. No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I? Answer: A calendar
544. Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet you miss me when I have flown. What am I?
Answer: Time
545. Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?
Answer: The number 8.
547. I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I?
Answer: A piano
548. I crack when I’m weary, tingle when I’m scared and stretch when I’m proud. What am I?
Answer: Your spine.
549. What can you put between 4 and 5 so that the result is more than 4, but less than 5?
Answer: A decimal.
550. If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Answer: Because it wasn’t raining.
551. If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven’t got me. What am I?
Answer: Secret.
552. If 10 birds were sitting on a telegraph wire and you shot one, how many would be left?
Answer: None. The others would all fly away.
553. I have wings, I am able to fly, I’m not a bird yet I soar high in the sky. What am I?
Answer: A plane.
554. I help you from your head to your toe. The more I work, the smaller I grow. What am I? Answer: A Bar of Soap
555. First I am dried, then I am wet. The longer I swim, the more taste you get. What am I?
Answer: Tea
556. I follow you all the time and copy your every move, but you can’t touch me. What am I?
Answer: Your shadow.
557. My name sounds like something you might use on your hair or eat for dessert. What am I?
Answer: A moose.
558. I’m blue on the inside and red on the outside. Donate me, but never drink me. What am I?
Answer: Blood
559. I’m the scariest thing you’ll ever write, direct and produce all by yourself. What am I?
Answer: Your worst nightmare.
560. I can be driven, but I don’t have wheels. I can be sliced, but I stay whole. What am I? Answer: A golf ball
561. If a boy blows 18 bubbles, then pops 6, eats 7, pops 5, and blows 1, how many are left?
Answer: 1
562. I have many teeth but I can’t bite. I’m often used early but rarely at night. What am I?
Answer: A comb
563. There is a rooster sitting on top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
Answer: Roosters don’t lay eggs.
564. How do you make the number 7 even without adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing?
Answer: Take out the “S.”
565. A taxi driver is going down a one-way street the wrong way, and passes at least 10 cops.
Answer: Why is she not caught? She was walking.
566. The height of my legs—usually around 6 feet—is taller than most humans. What animal am I?
Answer: A giraffe.
567. You heard me before, and then again. Afterward, I die, until you call me again. What am I?
Answer: An echo.
568. A seed with three letters in my name. Take away two and I still sound the same. What am I?
Answer: A pea
569. Put anything in me and I will make sure I’ll hold, doesn’t matter hot or cold. What am I?
Answer: A cup.
570. Fill me up with hot or cold. Put anything in me and I will make sure I’ll hold. What am I?
Answer: A cup
571. If you drop me I’m sure to crack, but give me a smile and I’ll always smile back. What am I?
Answer: A mirror.
572. What four-letter word can be written the same forward and backward, as well as upside down?
Answer: Noon.
573. I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone, and cities with no buildings. What am I?
Answer: A map
574. I can never be thrown but I can be caught. Ways to lose me are always being sought. What am I?
Answer: A cold
575. Almost everyone needs it, asks for it, and gives it, but almost nobody takes it. What is it?
Answer: Advice
576. Yellow and blue combined you’ll see; if you don’t want a pinch, be sure to wear me! What am I?
Answer: The color green
577. An apple is 40 cents, a banana is 60 cents, and a grapefruit is 80 cents. How much is a pear?
Answer: 40 cents. The price of each fruit is calculated by multiplying the number of vowels by 20 cents.
578. Mike was born on March 31st and he’s the easiest person to pull an April Fools’ joke on. Why?
Answer: Because he was born yesterday.
579. It takes me two weeks to digest food, but then again, I’m not noted for being fast. What am I?
Answer: A sloth.
580. I am always hungry and will die if not fed, but whatever I touch will soon turn red. What am I?
Answer: Fire.
581. I’m soft, delicate and silky, but if you’re wrapped in me, you’ll scream—if you can. What am I?
Answer: A cobweb
582. When written forward, this word is heavy. When written backward, it is not. What word is this?
Answer: Ton
583. In 1990, a person is 15 years old. In 1995, that same person is 10 years old. How can this be?
Answer: The person was born in 2005 B.C. Therefore, he was 5 years old in 2000 B.C, 10 in 1995 B.C, and 15 in 1990 B.C.
584. You walk into a room that has a match, a candle and a fireplace. Which should you light first?
Answer: The match.
585. A man and a dog were going down the street. The man rode, yet walked. What was the dog’s name?
Answer: Yet
586. I have a head and a tail that will never meet. Having too many of me is always a treat. What am I?
Answer: A Coin
587. I move without wings, between silken strings, I leave as you find, my substance behind. What am I?
Answer: A spider.
588. I follow you all the time and copy your every move, but you can’t touch me or catch me. What am I?
Answer: Your shadow.
589. Two vampires ran a race and crossed the finish line at almost the same time. How did the race end?
Answer: Neck and neck
590. Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?
Answer: Your father
591. Lovely and round, I shine with pale light; grown in the darkness, I’m a lady’s delight. What am I?
Answer: A pearl
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