600+ Riddles for Kids
Here is an extensive list of Riddles for Kids:
1. What’s black and white and read all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
2. A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
Answer: Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
3. I have two long ears, and I don’t walk, I hop. What am I?
Answer: A rabbit.
4. I have a mane but I’m not a lion and I wear my shoes to bed. What am I?
Answer: A horse.
5. What part of London is in France?
Answer: The letter N
6. Why is the music teacher a good teacher?
Answer: Because she is a sound instructor.
7. Carrie’s birthday is in April, which is in the fall. How is this possible?
Answer: Carrie lives in Australia.
8. They fill me up and you empty me, almost every day; if you raise my arm, I work the opposite way. What am I?
Answer: A mailbox
9. You heard me before, and then again. Afterward, I die, until you call me again. What am I?
Answer: An echo.
10. 81 x 9 = 801. What must you do to make this equation true?
Answer: Flip it upside down. 108 = 6 x 18
11. What is the highest building in your city?
Answer: The library has the most stories.
12. Why is it that whenever you are looking for something, you always find it in the last place you look?
Answer: Because you stop looking once you find it.
13. What is always in front of you but invisible?
Answer: The future.
14. When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
Answer: When you’re a mouse
15. What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Answer: Your name
16. People buy me to eat, but never eat me. What am I?
Answer: Plates and cutlery.
17. Why do some monkeys sell potato chips?
Answer: Because they’re chip monks.
18. Why is the letter D like a sailor?
Answer: It follows the C (sea).
19. Name a lock no one can pick.
Answer: A lock of hair from a bald head
20. What can’t you see, even though it’s always before you?
Answer: The future
21. Why do bees hum?
Answer: Because they don’t know the words.
22. What divides by uniting, and unites by dividing?
Answer: Scissors
23. I have branches, but no fruit, trunk, or leaves. What am I?
Answer: A bank
24. A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream?
Answer: He took the goose over first and came back. Then, he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next, he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
25. What’s the difference between a nickel and a penny?
Answer: Four cents
26. I add 5 to 9 and get 2. The answer is correct, so what am I?
Answer: A clock. When it is 9 a.m., adding 5 hours would make it 2 p.m.
27. What 10-letter word starts with GAS?
Answer: AUTOMOBILE!
28. I have a bed but I never sleep. I have a mouth but I never speak. What am I?
Answer: River
29. How long is a shoe?
Answer: A foot long
30. I am worn to mark a successful victory, I am also made of flowers and leaves formed into a circle, and I vary in size from big to tiny. What am I?
Answer: A wreath
31. A boy fell off a 20-foot ladder but did not get hurt. Why not?
Answer: He fell off the bottom step.
32. What plant stands for four?
Answer: Ivy (IV)
33. What do you call a group of rabbits marching backward?
Answer: A receding hare line
34. What is that we often return and never borrow?
Answer: Thanks
35. Where does Easter come before Valentine’s Day?
Answer: In the dictionary
36. What are the most unsociable things in the world?
Answer: Milestones, because you never see two of them together.
37. You go at red, but stop at green. What am I?
Answer: A watermelon. You eat the red part, and you stop eating at the green part.
38. If you go to the movies and you’re paying, is it cheaper to take one friend to the movies twice, or two friends to the movies at the same time?
Answer: It’s cheaper to take two friends at the same time. In this case, you would only be buying three tickets, whereas if you take the same friend twice you are buying four tickets.
39. How far can a fox run into a grove?
Answer: Only halfway—then he’s running out of it!
40. I am a three-digit number. My tens digit is five more than my ones digit. My hundreds digit is eight less than my tens digit. What number am I?
Answer: 194
41. What was the difference between Noah’s ark and Joan of Arc?
Answer: One was made of wood and the other was Maid of Orleans.
42. What has a bed, but never sleeps?
Answer: A river
43. What’s the most dangerous letter in the alphabet?
Answer: The killer B
44. What is taken from you before you get it?
Answer: Your picture
45. Why did the British cross the Atlantic Ocean?
Answer: To get to the other tide
46. I’m the only mammal that can’t jump. What animal am I?
Answer: An elephant.
47. What asks no questions but requires many answers?
Answer: A doorbell
48. If two kids share eight pieces of cherry pie, and one kid only gets to eat one piece, what does the other get?
Answer: A stomach ache
49. What can be heard and caught but never seen?
Answer: A remark.
50. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Answer: Once, because after you subtract 5 once, it’s not 25 anymore.
51. I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone, and cities with no buildings. What am I?
Answer: A map
52. Give me air and I will live. Give me water and I will die. What am I?
Answer: Fire.
53. What are the biggest kind of ants?
Answer: Gi-ants
54. How many sides does a circle have?
Answer: Two. The inside and the outside
55. How many soft-boiled eggs could the giant Goliath eat on an empty stomach?
Answer: One, after which his stomach would not be empty.
56. A woman fell from a 30-foot ladder without getting hurt. How?
Answer: She was standing on the bottom rung.
57. If a tiger had a Christmas music album, what would it be called?
Answer: Jungle Bells
58. Henry’s mother had four kids. The first three were named April, Fools, and Day. What was the fourth one named?
Answer: Henry
59. How do oceans say hello to each other?
Answer: They wave
60. I am a strange creature, hovering in the air, moving from here to there, with a brilliant flare. Some say I sing, but others say I have no voice, so I just hum as a matter of choice. What am I?
Answer: A hummingbird.
61. After an electric train crashed, every single person died. Who lived?
Answer: The couples.
62. You won’t see me at all in March, May or January, but catch me once in June and twice in November. What am I?
Answer: The letter “E”.
63. What kind of paper tells you who you are?
Answer: Tissue (‘tis you)
64. What is the difference between a tuna fish and a piano?
Answer: You can’t tune a fish.
65. What kind of room has no walls, door or windows?
Answer: A mushroom.
66. What do both a tooth and a tree have?
Answer: Roots
67. Why can’t the world ever end?
Answer: Because it’s round.
68. What can a person place in his right hand but not in his left hand?
Answer: His left elbow
69. What pets make the sweetest music?
Answer: Trumpets
70. People make me, save me, change me, raise me. What am I?
Answer: Money
71. In a single story house, there is a green chair, green bed, green computer, green couch, green flowers, green carpet and green table. What color is the staircase?
Answer: There is no staircase. It’s a single story house.
72. What four-letter word can be written the same forward and backward, as well as upside down?
Answer: Noon.
73. How can you make one pound of green tea go as far as five pounds of black?
Answer: Buy both in New York and send them to Maine.
74. If you drop me I’m sure to crack, but give me a smile and I’ll always smile back. What am I?
Answer: A mirror.
75. Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
Answer: He wanted to visit Pluto.
76. When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
Answer: Every year
77. What is the last thing you take off before going to bed?
Answer: Your feet from the floor.
78. Violet, indigo, and blue. Red, yellow, orange, and green. At the end of this object, a pot of gold can be seen. What is it?
Answer: A rainbow
79. What gets wet as it dries?
Answer: A towel
80. Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
Answer: He kept quacking all the eggs!
81. How is a wedding ring like eternity?
Answer: It has no beginning and no end.
82. A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her?
Answer: It was a bright, sunny day.
83. Which side of a grizzly bear has the most fur?
Answer: The outside
84. What does the duck say when he hears his stomach rumble?
Answer: “Oh, I have a stomach quake.”
85. What are King Kong’s favorite cookies?
Answer: Chocolate chimp
86. How is a Bible scholar like a merchant?
Answer: Because he studies the prophets (profits).
87. Why does a spider make a good baseball player?
Answer: Because he catches flies.
88. When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
Answer: When it’s a french fry
89. What did Mrs. Claus say when Santa asked about the weather on Christmas Eve?
Answer: “Looks like rain, dear.”
90. Lovely and round, I shine with pale light; grown in the darkness, I’m a lady’s delight. What am I?
Answer: A pearl
91. My teddy bear is never hungry. Why?
Answer: He’s stuffed.
92. Which branch of the military is a bunny’s favorite?
Answer: The hare force
93. No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I?
Answer: A calendar
94. What gets wetter as it dries?
Answer: A towel.
95. If the end of the year is on December 31st, then what is the end of Christmas?
Answer: An “S”
96. I have eyes but I can’t see. I live in the dark until you need me. What am I?
Answer: A potato.
97. What nation do people dread?
Answer: Condem-nation
98. What comes before 11 and after 15?
Answer: 10 and 16.
99. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Answer: Their age
100. What has 88 teeth, but has never brushed them?
Answer: A piano.
101. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Mice pudding
102. What time of the day was Adam created?
Answer: Just a little before Eve
103. What is full of holes and still holds water?
Answer: A sponge
104. When the water comes down, I go up. What am I?
Answer: An umbrella.
105. I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Answer: A candle
106. How can 8 + 8 = 4?
Answer: When you think in terms of time. 8 a.m. + 8 hours = 4 o’clock.
107. What driver never gets arrested?
Answer: A screwdriver
108. I’m born pink in color but then change to black and white. I’m easy to feed, as my favorite food is bamboo. What animal am I?
Answer: A panda bear.
109. Which number stays the same no matter what number you multiply it with?
Answer: 0
110. What it it called when a dinosaur makes a soccer goal?
Answer: A dino-score.
111. What’s a frog’s favorite game?
Answer: Leapfrog.
112. What Easter treat can you find at the bottom of the ocean?
Answer: Oyster eggs
113. Who is the most impolite and disrespectful of all the reindeer?
Answer: Rude-olf
114. How many sides does a square have?
Answer: 4
115. Where can happiness always be found?
Answer: In the dictionary
116. Why did Johnny get bad grades after Thanksgiving?
Answer: Because everything is marked down after the holidays!
117. Add 10 to nothing. What animal does it make?
Answer: O X (ox)
118. Why is a bad pin like a broken pencil?
Answer: Because it has no point.
119. Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?
Answer: The number 8.
120. What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
Answer: A yardstick
121. Racoons are racing around the tree. Can you spell that without any “r’s”?
Answer: T-H-A-T
122. What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All months have at least 28 days.
123. How can you make five less by adding one to it?
Answer: IV
124. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
Answer: The letter “C”
125. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
Answer: IHOP
126. Fill me up with hot or cold. Put anything in me and I will make sure I’ll hold. What am I?
Answer: A cup
127. What is something brown with a head and tail, but no legs?
Answer: A penny.
128. What smells the most in a candle store?
Answer: Your nose
129. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter M
130. How far is it from March to June?
Answer: A single spring
131. I sound like one letter but I’m written with three. I show you things when you look through me. What am I?
Answer: Eye
132. How can we become wiser from a box of pins?
Answer: It will give us many good points.
133. When is music like vegetables?
Answer: When there are two beats (beets) to the measure.
134. What makes a pair of shoes?
Answer: Two shoes
135. Is it possible for a woman to go 10 days without sleeping?
Answer: Yes, she will sleep at night.
136. I’m not in Venus or Neptune, but you can find me in Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Uranus. What am I?
Answer: The letter “R.”
137. How was the snow globe feeling?
Answer: A little shaken
138. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter “M.”
139. Why do we all go to bed?
Answer: Because the bed will not come to us.
140. What goes up and never goes down?
Answer: Your age
141. Why can’t it rain for two days continuously?
Answer: Because there is always a night in between.
142. My life is measured in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?
Answer: A candle.
143. What kind of shoes are made of banana skins?
Answer: Slippers
144. I am easy to lift, but hard to throw. What am I?
Answer: A feather.
145. I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. What am I?
Answer: A Barber
146. I’m able to turn my head around 270 degrees and I’m noted for being quiet in flight. What bird am I?
Answer: An owl.
147. What can be stolen, but never leave you?
Answer: Your identity.
148. A teacher and a student were counting puddles. The student was the teacher’s daughter, but the teacher was not the girl’s mother. Who was the teacher?
Answer: Her father.
149. How many times can you subtract the number two from the number fifty?
Answer: Once. After that you’re subtracting it from 48.
150. What is the best and cheapest light?
Answer: Daylight
151. I came to town and met three people; they were neither men, nor women, nor children; what were they?
Answer: A man, a woman, and a child
152. What should a man know before trying to teach a dog?
Answer: More than the dog
153. A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed for three nights and rode out on Friday. How is this possible?
Answer: His horse’s name is Friday.
154. What has legs but cannot walk?
Answer: A stool.
155. Bobby’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___?
Answer: Bobby.
156. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Answer: Cookie sheets
157. I fall, but I don’t get hurt. I pour, but I’m not a jug. I help plants grow, but I’m not the sun. What am I?
Answer: Rain.
158. What is the end of everything?
Answer: The letter “G.”
159. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: Moses didn’t take anything on the ark. Noah did!
160. I will fill a room, but take up no space. What am I?
Answer: Light.
161. It takes me two weeks to digest food, but then again, I’m not noted for being fast. What am I?
Answer: A sloth.
162. Kids can make it, but never hold it or see it. What is it?
Answer: Noise.
163. Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?
Answer: Your father
164. If you gave one friend 15 cents and another a dime, what time would it be?
Answer: A quarter to two
165. Amy threw the ball as hard as she could and it came back to her, without anything or anyone touching it. How?
Answer: She threw the ball upward into the air.
166. Why is the Stock Exchange a den of wild beasts?
Answer: It’s full of bulls and bears.
167. Why are clouds like coachmen?
Answer: They hold the reins (rains).
168. What has a neck, but no head?
Answer: A bottle.
169. What room can no one enter?
Answer: A mushroom
170. What occurs twice in a moment, once in a minute, and never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter M
171. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom
172. What can pass before the sun without making a shadow?
Answer: The wind
173. I am a number with a couple of friends. What am I?
Answer: Three
174. What letter of the alphabet is a question?
Answer: Y
175. A man and a dog were going down the street. The man rode, yet walked. What was the dog’s name?
Answer: Yet
176. What is the difference between fog and a falling star?
Answer: One is mist on earth and the other is missed in heaven.
177. What never uses its teeth for eating?
Answer: A comb
178. How do you make anti-freeze?
Answer: Take away her blanket.
179. What table has no legs to stand on?
Answer: A multiplication table
180. A butcher is 6 feet tall and wears a size 12 shoe. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat, of course
181. Who’s bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?
Answer: Mr. Bigger’s baby—he’s a little bigger.
182. What comes after cheese?
Answer: Mice!
183. What letter in the Dutch alphabet will name a titled lady?
Answer: Dutch-S
184. What do you call it when your parachute doesn’t open?
Answer: Jumping to a conclusion
185. When should a baker quit making doughnuts?
Answer: When he gets sick of the hole business.
186. When are houses like books?
Answer: When they have stories.
187. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Monti-jello
188. I have no life, but I can die. What am I?
Answer: A battery.
189. What does a person usually grow in a garden if he works hard?
Answer: Tired
190. What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
191. I have horns but I can’t beep. I like to bleat but I’m not a sheep. What am I?
Answer: A goat.
192. Three times what number is no larger than two times that same number?
Answer: 0
193. If you threw a black stone into the Red Sea, what would it become?
Answer: Wet.
194. What would you say if everyone in the country sneezed at the same time?
Answer: God bless America!
195. I have 13 hearts, but no other organs? What am I?
Answer: A deck of cards.
196. There’s a question you can never answer yes to. Do you know what it is?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
197. There is a clothing store in San Jose. The owner has devised his own method of pricing items. A vest costs $20, socks cost $25, a tie costs $15 and a blouse costs $30. Using this pattern, how much would a pair of underwear cost?
Answer: $45. The pricing method consists of charging $5 for each letter required to spell the item.
198. Play me with a ball and bat or hear me chirp in a top hat. What am I?
Answer: A cricket.
199. What did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Answer: Nothing. It was on the house.
200. I have branches, but no fruit, trunk or leaves. What am I?
Answer: A bank
201. Why do birds fly South?
Answer: Because it’s too far to walk.
202. What letter of the alphabet is the opposite of me?
Answer: U
203. What two keys cannot open any doors?
Answer: Monkey and donkey.
204. Why does a baby pig eat so much?
Answer: To make a hog out of himself
205. What goes “Ha, ha, ha, THUD?”
Answer: A zombie laughing his head off
206. What state is famous for tiny beverages?
Answer: Mini-soda
207. I am four times older than my son. In 20 years’ time, I will be twice as old as he is. How old are we now?
Answer: 40 and 10
208. What did the sea say to the sand?
Answer: Nothing, he just waved.
209. At Thanksgiving dinner, which hand should you butter your roll with?
Answer: Neither—you should use a knife.
210. I go around the world, but never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
211. Why are lobsters like politicians?
Answer: Because they change color when they get into hot water.
212. How do kids know Santa is in the house?
Answer: They sense his presents.
213. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
Answer: Because a little goes a long way.
214. What can run but can’t walk?
Answer: Water.
215. How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Just one and she’ll change it into a toad.
216. What nation always wins?
Answer: Determi-nation
217. How can five people divide five cookies so that each gets a cookie and yet one cookie remains on the plate?
Answer: The last person takes the plate with the remaining cookie.
218. I’m always in front of you but can’t be seen. What am I?
Answer: The future
219. How do you look at a hippo’s teeth?
Answer: Very carefully
220. What comes once a minute, twice every moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter “M”
221. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
Answer: A towel
222. How can you know when it’s raining cats and dogs?
Answer: Step into a poodle
223. What has 18 legs and catches flies?
Answer: A baseball team
224. What kind of a dot can dance?
Answer: A polka dot
225. What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport?
Answer: Basketball
226. Why is the girl getting a suntan like a small bucket?
Answer: They’re both a little pale.
227. What fruit is mentioned most in history?
Answer: Dates
228. Why is the letter E like London?
Answer: They’re both the capital of England.
229. What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
Answer: The pavement
230. What did the near-sighted porcupine say when it backed into a cactus?
Answer: “Pardon me, honey.”
231. What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on?
Answer: A coat of paint
232. I have many teeth but I can’t bite. I’m often used early but rarely at night. What am I?
Answer: A comb
233. With what two animals do you always go to bed?
Answer: Two calves
234. What word becomes shorter when a syllable is added to it?
Answer: The word short
235. What is the fastest way to double your money?
Answer: Place it in front of the mirror.
236. Why should you take a ruler to bed?
Answer: To see how long you slept
237. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world?
Answer: Because he can hold up a 10-ton truck with one hand
238. An apple is 40 cents, a banana is 60 cents, and a grapefruit is 80 cents. How much is a pear?
Answer: 40 cents. The price of each fruit is calculated by multiplying the number of vowels by 20 cents.
239. What goes up but never comes down?
Answer: Your age
240. What is the difference between a greyhound and a locomotive?
Answer: One is trained to run and the other runs a train.
241. What do you call a hippie’s wife?
Answer: Mississippi
242. I come in different shapes and sizes. Parts of me are curved, other parts are straight. You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me. What am I?
Answer: A puzzle piece
243. What tune makes everybody glad?
Answer: Fortune
244. Take away my first letter, I remain unchanged; take away my second letter, I’m still the same; take away all my letters and I still continue unchanged. What am I?
Answer: A mailman
245. What kind of train has a head cold?
Answer: Achoo achoo train
246. Why should you never punish a cat?
Answer: Because it’s already purrfect.
247. A mama robin has two daughters. Each of her daughters has a brother. How many children does the mama robin have?
Answer: She has 3, both of the daughters have the same 1 brother.
248. No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I?
Answer: A calendar.
249. How much fur can you get from a skunk?
Answer: As fur as possible
250. What ant is the youngest?
Answer: Infant
251. What does a witch do when she goes to a hotel?
Answer: She orders broom service.
252. Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?
Answer: Because its head is so far from its body.
253. What is used by others, but only belongs to you?
Answer: Your name.
254. Always in you, Sometimes on you; If I surround you, I can kill you. What am I?
Answer: Water.
255. I am the beginning of everything, the end of everywhere. I’m the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. What am I?
Answer: The letter “E”.
256. What do you call a fairy that hasn’t taken a bath?
Answer: Stinker Bell
257. Two in a corner, 1 in a room, 0 in a house, but 1 in a shelter. What am I?
Answer: The letter r.
258. I follow you all the time and copy your every move, but you can’t touch me or catch me. What am I?
Answer: Your shadow.
259. When is 1500 plus 20 and 1600 minus 40 the same thing?
Answer: When it’s military time
260. What is at the end of dinner?
Answer: The letter R
261. A seed with three letters in my name. Take away two and I still sound the same. What am I?
Answer: A pea
262. What’s the easiest way to double your money?
Answer: Fold it.
263. Why should soldiers be tired on the first of April?
Answer: Because they just had to march 31 days.
264. What’s in the middle of March and April but never at the beginning or end?
Answer: The letter “R”
265. What bus crossed the ocean?
Answer: Columbus
266. What is at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: The letter “W.”
267. What did Adam do when he wanted sugar?
Answer: Raised Cain
268. What is too much for one, enough for two, but nothing at all for three?
Answer: A secret
269. How can parents make Easter easier?
Answer: Replace the “t” with an “i”
270. What relation is that child to its father who is not its father’s own son?
Answer: His daughter
271. What did one wall say to another?
Answer: Meet you at the corner.
272. What has eyes but can’t see?
Answer: A potato
273. What is lost and never found again?
Answer: Time
274. People make me, save me, change me, raise me. What am I?
Answer: Money.
275. How many bananas can you eat if your stomach is empty?
Answer: Just one—after that, it’s not empty anymore.
276. If a boy blows 18 bubbles, then pops 6, eats 7, pops 5, and blows 1, how many are left?
Answer: 1
277. Do they have a 4th of July in Australia?
Answer: Yep. It’s right after the 3rd and before the 5th.
278. What was the largest island before Australia was discovered?
Answer: Australia was always the largest.
279. What makes a road broad?
Answer: The letter b
280. Cupid without a bow, Donner with no kebab, one who dances, one who prances, all dragging present-giving dad. What am I?
Answer: A reindeer.
281. What do you get if you put a mother duck and five ducklings into a box?
Answer: A box of quackers
282. Where can you always find “gold,” but there’s no gold at all?
Answer: In the dictionary
283. What does an iron-clad vessel of war, with four inches of steel plating and all her guns on board, weigh just before starting on a cruise?
Answer: She weighs anchor.
284. What American has had the largest family?
Answer: George Washington, the father of his country
285. Which is the strongest day of the week?
Answer: Sunday; the rest are weekdays.
286. Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich?
Answer: Because the poor had no money.
287. You can’t keep this until you have given it.
Answer: Your promise
288. How can you keep an elephant from charging?
Answer: Take away its credit card
289. What did Santa’s elves learn in school?
Answer: The elf-abet
290. You walk into a room that has a match, a candle and a fireplace. Which should you light first?
Answer: The match.
291. What word will, if you take away the first letter, make you sick?
Answer: Music
292. What’s the problem with twin witches?
Answer: You never know which witch is which!
293. When is the worst time to build a snowman?
Answer: Summertime
294. I travel all around the world but always stay in the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp
295. The more of this there is, the less you can see. WhatAm I?
Answer: Darkness.
296. The height of my legs—usually around 6 feet—is taller than most humans. What animal am I?
Answer: A giraffe.
297. What has cities, but no houses?
Answer: A map.
298. Which is better: an old 10 dollar bill or a new one?
Answer: An old TEN dollar bill rather than a new ONE
299. Why should a horse not be hungry on a journey?
Answer: Because he has a bit in his mouth.
300. Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Answer: They use fowl language.
301. How does Easter end?
Answer: With an “r”
302. Mike was born on March 31st and he’s the easiest person to pull an April Fools’ joke on. Why?
Answer: Because he was born yesterday.
303. What Jack has a head but no body?
Answer: A jack-o-lantern
304. Imagine you’re in a room that is filling with water. There are no windows or doors. How do you get out?
Answer: Stop imagining!
305. I move up and down all day but I never actually move. What am I?
Answer: The temperature
306. When is a sheepdog most likely to go into a house?
Answer: When the door is open.
307. What birds have 4 feet and yellow feathers?
Answer: Two canaries
308. Where does Monday come before Sunday?
Answer: In the dictionary
309. I have wings but I am not a bird. I am small, colorful, and beautiful. I live in gardens and fields and forests. I used to be a caterpillar. What am I?
Answer: A butterfly.
310. What happens when a sheep studies karate?
Answer: A lamb chop.
311. I like to hop around, and I’m a tadpole when I’m young. I am green and I croak and catch flies with my long tongue. What am I?
Answer: A frog.
312. Where did Noah strike the first nail in the ark?
Answer: On the head
313. I wear a tuxedo in the snow and skate on my tummy across the ice. What am I?
Answer: A penguin.
314. Two vampires ran a race and crossed the finish line at almost the same time. How did the race end?
Answer: Neck and neck
315. What has holes all over, but still holds water?
Answer: A sponge.
316. What has 1,000 legs and no feet?
Answer: 500 pairs of pants
317. What has the head of a cat, the tail of a cat—but is not a cat?
Answer: A kitten
318. What question can never be answered “Yes”?
Answer: “Are you asleep?”
319. Why is a room full of married folks like an empty room?
Answer: Because there is not a single person in it.
320. A zombie, a mummy, and a ghost bought a house. It has all of the usual rooms except for one. What room won’t you find?
Answer: A living room
321. Why did Babe Ruth make so much money?
Answer: Because a good batter makes good dough.
322. My name sounds like something you might use on your hair or eat for dessert. What am I?
Answer: A moose.
323. On which side of a church does a tree grow?
Answer: On the outside
324. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole?
Answer: All the difference in the world
325. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first was named May, the next was named June. What was the name of the third child?
Answer: Johnny.
326. What’s the best present for a deaf goldfish?
Answer: A herring aid
327. A green jacket covers my arms. Don’t ever steal my Lucky Charms. Who am I?
Answer: A leprechaun
328. I have a face and arms, but no legs. What am I?
Answer: A clock.
329. A man left home sprinting. He ran for awhile and then turned left, ran the same distance and turned left again, ran the same distance and turned left again. When he got home, there were two people wearing masks. Who were they?
Answer: The umpire and the catcher.
330. Where is a sneeze usually pointed?
Answer: Atchoo!
331. Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?
Answer: The number 8
332. What flower does a person carry around all year?
Answer: Tulips
333. What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest woman couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
Answer: Her breath.
334. You see a boat filled with people. It has not sunk, but when you look again you don’t see a single person on the boat. Why not?
Answer: They’re all married.
335. If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven’t got me. What am I?
Answer: Secret.
336. What is white, but smells like blue paint?
Answer: White paint.
337. What has many keys, but cannot unlock a single door?
Answer: A piano.
338. I can fly but have no wings. I can cry but I have no eyes. Wherever I go, darkness follows me. What am I?
Answer: Clouds
339. I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Answer: A Pencil
340. An American living in England came home to the United States on the 4th of July, celebrated for three full days, and returned to England on the 4th of July. How is this possible?
Answer: He traveled on a ship called The 4th of July.
341. How does Santa keep his breath fresh?
Answer: With an orna-mint
342. Take one out and scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I?
Answer: A match
343. What has neither flesh nor bone, but has fingers and a thumb?
Answer: A glove
344. Why is your nose not 12 inches long?
Answer: Because then it would be a foot.
345. How do you make the word “one” disappear?
Answer: Add a “G” in front and it’s gone
346. What did Adam never have, but give his children?
Answer: Parents
347. Which fish costs the most?
Answer: A goldfish.
348. What flies all day but never goes anywhere?
Answer: A flag
349. Which burns longer: a wax or tallow candle?
Answer: Neither; both burn shorter.
350. First I am dried, then I am wet. The longer I swim, the more taste you get. What am I?
Answer: Tea
351. If 10 birds were sitting on a telegraph wire and you shot one, how many would be left?
Answer: None. The others would all fly away.
352. What word has six letters, but if you remove one letter, you’ll be left with 12?
Answer: Dozens.
353. When I take five and add six, I get eleven, but when I take six and add seven, I get one. What am I?
Answer: A clock
354. I can be driven, but I don’t have wheels. I can be sliced, but I stay whole. What am I?
Answer: A golf ball
355. When is an altered dress like a secret?
Answer: When it is let out.
356. People buy me to eat, but I cannot be eaten. What am I?
Answer: A plate.
357. Almost everyone needs it, asks for it, and gives it, but almost nobody takes it. What is it?
Answer: Advice
358. What is the smartest state?
Answer: Alabama—it has four A’s and one B!
359. Three men were under one umbrella but none of them got wet. How did they do it?
Answer: It wasn’t raining.
360. Though I dance at a ball, I am nothing at all. What am I?
Answer: A shadow
361. What are the most difficult ships to conquer?
Answer: Hard-ships
362. How do shells get around the ocean?
Answer: A taxi crab.
363. If it took three people four hours to roast a turkey, how many hours would it take four people to roast the same turkey?
Answer: None! The turkey is already cooked.
364. What gets bigger the more you take away?
Answer: A hole.
365. The more you take away, the more I become. What am I?
Answer: A hole.
366. Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Answer: The word “not.”
367. When written forward, this word is heavy. When written backward, it is not. What word is this?
Answer: Ton
368. I have two hands, but I can not scratch myself. What am I?
Answer: A clock
369. What’s the capital in Washington?
Answer: W
370. When are words musical?
Answer: When they have a ring to them.
371. What goes up, but never comes down?
Answer: Age.
372. What happens when a giant walks through your garden?
Answer: All your vegetables turn to squash.
373. Where do you take a sick boat?
Answer: To the dock-tor.
374. How can you divide 17 apples equally among 11 boys if four of them are very small?
Answer: By making them into applesauce
375. What do we see made, but never after it’s made?
Answer: A noise
376. I’m (usually) white and used for cutting and grinding. When I’m damaged, humans usually remove me or fill me. For most animals I am a useful tool. What am I?
Answer: A Tooth
377. If there are three lollipops and you take away two, how many do you have?
Answer: If you take two, then you have two.
378. What is always answered without being questioned?
Answer: A doorbell.
379. What’s the worst season of the year for tightrope walkers?
Answer: The fall
380. What’s the first thing that happens when a boy jumps in the lake?
Answer: He gets wet.
381. What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
Answer: A palm tree.
382. There is a rooster sitting on top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
Answer: Roosters don’t lay eggs.
383. Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet you miss me when I have flown. What am I?
Answer: Time
384. How is a nobleman like a book?
Answer: He has a title.
385. Of what trade is the president of the United States?
Answer: A cabinet-maker
386. I’m an instrument through which sounds are made, and yet, not something that can be played. What am I?
Answer: Your voice.
387. What animal drops from the clouds?
Answer: The rain, dear
388. I have a hole in my back and legs I lack. I live where I can’t breathe and I eat without teeth. What am I?
Answer: A whale.
389. When are cooks mean?
Answer: When they beat the eggs and whip the cream.
390. Where is the largest diamond in Boston kept?
Answer: On a baseball field
391. I’m hidden, but I’m not buried. I hold treasure, but no gems. Leprechauns protect me, but I’m not Lucky Charms. What am I?
Answer: A pot of gold
392. What did King George think of the American colonists?
Answer: He thought they were revolting.
393. I live in the ocean and move slowly. I eat clams and have five arms. What am I?
Answer: A starfish.
394. I can never be thrown but I can be caught. Ways to lose me are always being sought. What am I?
Answer: A cold
395. What’s 102 stories high, wears a black cape, and has very sharp teeth?
Answer: The vampire state building
396. What do you call a cat who drinks lemonade?
Answer: A sourpuss
397. Who wears shoes while sleeping?
Answer: A horse.
398. I move without wings, between silken strings, I leave as you find, my substance behind. What am I?
Answer: A spider.
399. Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington today?
Answer: Because he died in 1799.
400. Three men jump into the water, but only two come out with wet hair. Why?
Answer: The third man was bald.
401. When is it right to lie?
Answer: When you are in bed.
402. When is a pig like ink?
Answer: When you put it in a pen.
403. I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween, I bring a jack-o-lantern life. What am I?
Answer: A candle
404. What trembles at each breath of air, but can bear the heaviest burdens?
Answer: Water
405. When does a ship fool you?
Answer: When it lies at the wharf.
406. I am a ball that can be rolled but never bounced or thrown. What am I?
Answer: An eyeball
407. When is 1500 plus 20 and 1600 minus 40 the same thing?
Answer: When it’s military time.
408. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Answer: Footsteps.
409. What would you call a man who does not have all fingers on one hand?
Answer: A man, because humans have fingers on both hands.
410. I have no doors but I have keys, I have no rooms but I have space, you can enter but you can’t leave! What am I?
Answer: A keyboard
411. The one who makes me cannot use me. The one who buys me will not use me for themselves. The one who actually uses me, doesn’t know it. What am I?
Answer: A coffin.
412. Which man shaves 20 or more times a day?
Answer: A barber
413. What is the largest rope in the world?
Answer: Europe
414. A doctor and a boy were fishing. The boy was the doctor’s son, but the doctor was not the boy’s father. Who was the doctor?
Answer: His mother
415. What must you add to nine to make it six?
Answer: S (S + IX = six)
416. What has 13 hearts but no other organs?
Answer: A deck of playing cards
417. What happens when you cross a bulldog with a Plymouth Rock hen?
Answer: The hen lays pooched eggs.
418. What is everything doing at the same time?
Answer: Growing older
419. What coat is finished without buttons and put on wet?
Answer: A coat of paint
420. What is special about these words: job, polish, herb?
Answer: They are pronounced differently when the first letter is capitalized.
421. The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?
Answer: A coffin
422. Why do you always put on your left shoe last?
Answer: Once you put on one, the other is left.
423. I follow you all the time and copy your every move, but you can’t touch me. What am I?
Answer: Your shadow.
424. Which five-letter Irish name can be spelled with just two?
Answer: KC
425. What chins are never shaved?
Answer: Ur-chins
426. How do you make the number 7 even without adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing?
Answer: Take out the “S.”
427. What goes up and down, but never moves?
Answer: The temperature.
428. What did the duck say when it laid a square egg?
Answer: Ouch!
429. Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
Answer: The baa-baa shop
430. What did the dirt say when it rained?
Answer: If this keeps up, my name is mud!
431. How far can you go into the woods?
Answer: As far as the center, and then you’ll be going out.
432. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
Answer: Missile toe
433. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom
434. What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Answer: Lunch and dinner.
435. What did the rug say to the floor?
Answer: Don’t move—I have you covered.
436. How is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Answer: They both have sandy claws.
437. A sphere has three, a circle has two, and a point has zero. What is it?
Answer: Dimensions
438. Which is faster: heat or cold?
Answer: Heat. You can catch a cold.
439. How many gold coins can a leprechaun throw in an empty pot?
Answer: One. After that, it’s no longer empty.
440. Which bird is very rude?
Answer: The mocking bird
441. What has every living person seen, but will never see again?
Answer: Yesterday
442. If 20 dogs run after one dog, what time is it?
Answer: Twenty after one
443. A cub, a bunny, and a gosling are taking a walk. One of them sneezes. It’s not the animal that hops, and it’s not the animal that flies. Which animal sneezed?
Answer: The cub.
444. I am so delicate that just saying my name will cause me to break. What am I?
Answer: Silence
445. Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Answer: Because you can see right through them.
446. Why is a riddle like a parrot?
Answer: It is far-fetched and full of nonsense.
447. What word begins and ends in “E,” but only has one letter?
Answer: Envelope.
448. Why is a star in the heavens like a window in the roof?
Answer: Because it’s a sky-light.
449. What English word has three consecutive double letters?
Answer: Bookkeeper.
450. How do you get down off an elephant?
Answer: You don’t get down off an elephant. You get down off a duck.
451. How can Sarah go 8 days without sleep?
Answer: She only sleeps at night.
452. Spell “enemy” in three letters.
Answer: F O E
453. What word is always pronounced wrong?
Answer: Wrong
454. Where do Santa and his elves like to go for a swim?
Answer: The North pool
455. What kind of pie looks the best?
Answer: A Q-T pie
456. Take off my skin and I won’t cry, but you will! What am I?
Answer: An onion.
457. What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Answer: Lunch and dinner
458. If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Answer: Because it wasn’t raining.
459. I’m a god, a planet, and I measure heat. What am I?
Answer: Mercury
460. What is filled every morning and emptied every night, except once a year when it is filled at night and emptied in the morning?
Answer: A stocking
461. What goes through a door but never goes in or comes out?
Answer: A keyhole
462. What goes uphill and downhill, and always stays in the same place?
Answer: A road
463. Why does Uncle Sam wear red-white-and-blue suspenders?
Answer: To hold up his pants
464. How many times can you subtract 10 from 25?
Answer: Once. After you subtract 10 from 25 the first time, it becomes 15.
465. What were the colors of the wind and the waves in a storm?
Answer: The wind blew (blue), and the waves rose.
466. In 1990, a person is 15 years old. In 1995, that same person is 10 years old. How can this be?
Answer: The person was born in 2005 B.C. Therefore, he was 5 years old in 2000 B.C, 10 in 1995 B.C, and 15 in 1990 B.C.
467. What age is served for breakfast?
Answer: Sausage
468. I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I?
Answer: A piano
469. Where was Solomon’s temple?
Answer: On the side of his head
470. What’s the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
Answer: Close your eyes.
471. I have wings, I am able to fly, I’m not a bird yet I soar high in the sky. What am I?
Answer: A plane.
472. What do tarantulas drink?
Answer: Apple spider
473. What do giraffes have that no other animal has?
Answer: Little giraffes
474. What always comes into a house through the keyhole?
Answer: A key
475. On Calvary, there were three, not six. It’s also known as a crucifix.
Answer: A cross
476. I taste better than I smell. What am I?
Answer: A tongue
477. Why are the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Answer: Because there were so many nights (knights).
478. Sally’s father has five daughters: Sammy, Stella, Sarah and Sadie. Guess the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Sally.
479. Imagine you are in trapped in a closet with a locked door. How will you get out?
Answer: Stop imagining.
480. How can you make the following equation true by drawing only one straight line: 5+5+5=550? There are two possible answers.
Answer: Draw a line on the first plus sign that turns it into a 4! The equation then becomes true: 545+5=550.
481. In my hand, I have two coins that are newly minted. Together, they total 30 cents. One isn’t a nickel. What are the coins?
Answer: A quarter and a nickel
482. When Rebecca was 8 years old, her little brother, Bob, was half his age. If Rebecca is 20 years old today, how old is Bob?
Answer: 16
483. How can you make pants last?
Answer: Make the coats and vests first.
484. What sentence did Adam use when he introduced himself to Eve, which reads the same backward and forward?
Answer: “Madam, I’m Adam!”
485. What building has the most stories?
Answer: A library.
486. I have ears but I cannot hear and I have flakes but I have no hair. What am I?
Answer: Corn
487. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Answer: An elephant’s shadow.
488. What do you call a very, very young robin?
Answer: An egg
489. I have a head and a tail that will never meet. Having too many of me is always a treat. What am I?
Answer: A Coin
490. Why did the coconut go out with a pineapple?
Answer: He couldn’t get a date.
491. When is a door not a door?
Answer: When it’s a-jar.
492. I am known as a king, and the jungle’s where I reign. It is hard to tame me, and I have a large mane. What am I?
Answer: A lion.
493. How do we know they had fruit onboard the ark?
Answer: Because the animals went in pairs (pears).
494. What is the best thing to take before singing?
Answer: A breath
495. Why is a pulled tooth like a thing forgotten?
Answer: It’s out of the head.
496. If Jack’s father is Joe’s son, who is Jack to Joe?
Answer: Joe is his grandfather.
497. Where will you find Friday before Thursday?
Answer: In a dictionary
498. What is the most warlike nation?
Answer: Vacci-nation, because it is always in arms.
499. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Answer: Catch you later!
500. I’m spotty and speedy, but not at all greedy. I look like a leopard but don’t try to play me at cards. What am I?
Answer: A cheetah.
501. Why is the sun like a good loaf of bread?
Answer: Because it’s light when it rises.
502. What does the Easter Bunny say when it burps?
Answer: Eggs-cuse me!
503. What is the smallest bridge in the world?
Answer: The bridge of your nose
504. What pen should never be used for writing?
Answer: A pig pen
505. I’m an animal you might love, but I’m too big to be your pet. I have an extremely long trunk, and it’s said I never forget. What am I?
Answer: An elephant.
506. What is the most moral musical instrument?
Answer: An upright piano
507. What goes up and never comes down?
Answer: Your age.
508. What’s the best way to catch a fish?
Answer: Have someone throw it to you.
509. When Santa sprained his ankle, what did he use to walk?
Answer: A candy cane
510. Where does a snowman keep his money?
Answer: In a snowbank
511. What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Answer: Your name
512. How is your hand like a hardware store?
Answer: It has nails.
513. When is a chair like a dress?
Answer: When it is sat-in.
514. If a boy wears his pants out, what will he do?
Answer: Wear them in again.
515. What is as light as a feather, yet no person can hold it for long. What am I?
Answer: Your breath
516. I begin and end with E but I only contain one letter. What am I?
Answer: An envelope
517. What has many eyes and never cries?
Answer: A potato
518. What is the difference between a coat and a baby?
Answer: The one you wear, the other you were
519. How do you make a banana shake?
Answer: Take it to a scary movie.
520. How can you tell which rabbit is the oldest?
Answer: Look for the gray hare.
521. What did the turkey say to the computer?
Answer: Google, google!
522. If you toss a coin 10 times and it lands heads up every time, what are the chances it will land heads up if you toss it again?
Answer: There is a 50/50 chance of each toss being either heads or tails. The previous toss does not impact the next toss.
523. Why can’t a woman living in the U.S. be buried in Canada?
Answer: Because she’s still alive!
524. What is the surest way to keep water from getting into your house?
Answer: Don’t pay your water bill.
525. I come down, but I never go up. What am I?
Answer: Rain
526. I can wave my hands at you, but I never say goodbye. You are always cool when with me, even more so when I am high! What am I?
Answer: An electric fan.
527. I live upside down. I see with my ears and don’t use my eyes, and on Halloween, I’ll give you a big surprise. What am I?
Answer: A bat.
528. How do you make the number 7 an even number without addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division?
Answer: Take out the “s.”
529. A woman called her horse from the opposite side of a river. The horse crossed the river without getting wet, and without using a boat or bridge. How?
Answer: The river was frozen.
530. What can you put between 4 and 5 so that the result is more than 4, but less than 5?
Answer: A decimal.
531. What state is round at both ends, and high in the middle?
Answer: OHIO
532. What is full of holes but holds water?
Answer: A sponge
533. I jump when I walk and sit when I stand. What am I?
Answer: A kangaroo.
534. What word, by changing a single letter, becomes its own opposite?
Answer: United (untied)
535. If your uncle’s sister is not your aunt, what is her relation to you?
Answer: She is your mother.
536. Which month has 28 days in it?
Answer: All months
537. How can you keep fish from smelling?
Answer: Cut off their noses.
538. I am always hungry and will die if not fed, but whatever I touch will soon turn red. What am I?
Answer: Fire.
539. What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg (egg-cept on Easter!)
540. I help you from your head to your toe. The more I work, the smaller I grow. What am I?
Answer: A Bar of Soap
541. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Answer: Hold its nose.
542. My voice is tender, my waist is slender, and I’m often invited to play. Yet wherever I go I must take my bow or else I have nothing to say. What am I?
Answer: A violin
543. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
Answer: He wanted his quarterback.
544. Who was older: David or Goliath?
Answer: David, because he rocked Goliath to sleep.
545. What is gray, has four legs, big ears, a tail, and a trunk?
Answer: A mouse going on vacation
546. What can’t run, even though it has three feet?
Answer: A yardstick
547. I am a bow that can’t be tied.
Answer: A rainbow.
548. Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
Answer: The turkey, because it’s always stuffed
549. What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in one thousand years?
Answer: The letter “M.”
550. What is black and white and has 16 wheels?
Answer: A zebra on roller skates
551. What is small, round, and colorful and gets hidden over and over again?
Answer: An Easter egg.
552. What do you call a carpenter who can’t find his tools?
Answer: A saw loser
553. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: Zero. Noah took them.
554. What bird is always sad?
Answer: A blue jay
555. Where does a dog keep its car?
Answer: In a barking lot
556. What should you do if you catch a dog eating your dictionary?
Answer: Take the words right out of his mouth.
557. If a red house is made with red bricks, and a blue house is made with blue bricks, and an orange house is made with orange bricks, what is a greenhouse made of?
Answer: Usually glass, so plants can grow more easily.
558. What has a head and tail but no body? .
Answer: A coin
559. What will be yesterday but was tomorrow?
Answer: Today
560. How many sides does a circle have?
Answer: Two; outside and inside.
561. You’re in a room and there is a ghost in the room, but you’re the only one in the room. How is this possible?
Answer: You’re the ghost.
562. What has a mouth but never eats?
Answer: A river
563. Bill, Judy, and Dane attended a baseball game together and bought one ticket each. How many tickets did they buy in total?
Answer: 3
564. Which word in the dictionary is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly.
565. I turn once, so what is out will not get in. I turn again, so what is in will not get out. What am I?
Answer: A key.
566. The alphabet goes from A to Z but I go Z to A. What am I?
Answer: A zebra
567. Why is the Statue of Liberty standing in the New York harbor?
Answer: Because she can’t sit down.
568. What kind of insect hates Christmas?
Answer: A humbug
569. I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I?
Answer: A joke.
570. How do you catch a school of fish?
Answer: A bookworm.
571. Yellow and blue combined you’ll see; if you don’t want a pinch, be sure to wear me! What am I?
Answer: The color green
572. What song do animals in the jungle listen to on July 4th?
Answer: Tarzan Stripes Forever
573. When called to investigate, the police found that a man had died in his apartment. When they looked up where he worked, they discovered that he earned $30 for every month he worked with 30 or fewer days and $35 for every month he worked with 31 days. Assuming today is April 1, how much will he earn by the end of December?
Answer: April Fools’! He won’t earn anything. He died.
574. What does x-p-d-n-c spell?
Answer: Expediency
575. What is the difference between a howling wind and an umbrella?
Answer: You can shut an umbrella up.
576. What has to be broken before you can eat it?
Answer: An egg.
577. What is the end of everything?
Answer: The letter “g”
578. Why are fish so smart?
Answer: Because they travel in schools.
579. What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
580. What word contains 26 letters, but only three syllables?
Answer: Alphabet.
581. What’s the best way to catch a rabbit?
Answer: Pretend to be a carrot
582. What are crispy and crunchy and sail the ocean blue?
Answer: Potato ships
583. I’m where yesterday follows today and tomorrow is in the middle. What am I?
Answer: A dictionary.
584. Rachel goes to the supermarket and buys 10 tomatoes. Unfortunately, on the way back home, all but 9 get ruined. How many tomatoes are left in a good condition?
Answer: 9
585. Imagine that you are in a room that is filling with water. There are no windows or doors. How do you get out?
Answer: Stop imagining.
586. An electric train is heading east at 400mph. How fast will the smoke blow?
Answer: Electric trains do not produce smoke.
587. How do fish decorate for Christmas?
Answer: They hang reefs.
588. Why did the moth eat the rug?
Answer: To see the floor show
589. What is so brittle that even to name it is to break it?
Answer: Silence
590. What kind of ears do engines have?
Answer: Engineers
591. I am served at a table, In gatherings of two or four. Served small, white, and round. You’ll love some, and that’s part of the fun. What am I?
Answer: A ping-pong ball.
592. On what day of the year do women talk least?
Answer: On the shortest day of the year
593. What month has one day?
Answer: All of them!
594. What game is dangerous for your mental health?
Answer: Marbles; you don’t want to lose them.
595. I live in the woods. I am very big and furry. I like to eat fish and berries. I love honey as much as you do. What am I?
Answer: A bear.
596. What three-letter word is a mousetrap?
Answer: Cat
597. What types of roads do ghosts like to drive on?
Answer: Dead ends
598. What contains more feet in winter than in summer?
Answer: A skating rink
599. Why did John’s mother knit him three stockings when he was in the army?
Answer: Because John wrote her that had gotten so tall he had grown another foot.
600. Where was the dog when the lights went out?
Answer: In the dark
601. Can you write down eight eights so that they add up to one thousand?
Answer: 888 + 88 + 8 + 8 + 8 = 1000
602. Put anything in me and I will make sure I’ll hold, doesn’t matter hot or cold. What am I?
Answer: A cup.
603. What did Paul Revere say when he finished his famous ride?
Answer: “Whoa!”
604. Why was the computer so quiet on Christmas Eve?
Answer: Because not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
605. What cat said, “The British are coming!”
Answer: Paw Revere
606. Where will you find Friday before Thursday?
Answer: A dictionary.
607. How is Ireland like a bottle of wine?
Answer: It has a Cork in it.
608. What dance do bakers prefer?
Answer: A-bun-dance
609. I have a big mouth and I am also quite loud! I am NOT a gossip but I do get involved with everyone’s dirty business. What am I?
Answer: A vacuum cleaner
610. Kavita has 3 strawberries and 2 oranges in one hand and 2 strawberries and 4 oranges in the other. How many oranges and strawberries did Kavita have?
Answer: 6 oranges and 5 strawberries.
611. What kind of dog can tell time?
Answer: A watchdog
612. Who always goes to sleep with his shoes on?
Answer: A horse
613. On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?
Answer: The outside
614. If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
Answer: 9!
615. How many months have 28 days?
Answer: All 12.
616. Why is an island like the letter T?
Answer: Because it’s in the middle of water.
617. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Answer: Smiles. There is a mile between the first and last letters.
618. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Answer: Footsteps.
619. Why did the girl go outside with her purse open?
Answer: She was expecting some change in the weather.
620. Where were the first doughnuts fried?
Answer: In Greece (grease)
621. I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall. What am I?
Answer: A baby chick in an egg. \
622. What is the difference between twice twenty-two and twice two and twenty?
Answer: One is 44, the other 24
623. Why was Washington buried standing?
Answer: Because he couldn’t lie.
624. What is that which is bought by the yard and worn by the foot?
Answer: Carpet
625. I’ve got lumps on my back and I live on the sand. I’m strong and I carry you over the land. What am I?
Answer: A camel.
626. What do the Pilgrims, Indians, and Puritans have in common?
Answer: The letter “I”
627. What vegetable is unpopular on a ship?
Answer: A leek (leak)
628. What loses a head in the morning, but gets it back at night?
Answer: A pillow.
629. What are eight 8s that add up to 1,000?
Answer: 8 + 8 + 8 + 88 + 888 = 1,000.
630. What 5-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Answer: “Short”
631. I’m an animal you might love, but I’m too big to be your pet. I have an extremely long trunk, and it’s said I never forget. What am I?
Answer: An elephant.
632. How can you find a lost rabbit?
Answer: Make a noise like a carrot.
633. When is a blue book not a blue book?
Answer: When it’s read (red).
634. What nationality is Santa Claus?
Answer: North Polish
635. You want to boil an egg for two minutes but you only have a three-minute hourglass, a four-minute hourglass, and a five-minute hourglass, how can you boil the egg for only two minutes?
Answer: Once the water is boiling, turn the three-minute hourglass and five-minute hourglass over. When the three-minute hourglass runs out, put the egg in the boiling water. When the five-minute hourglass runs out, two minutes have elapsed and it is time to take the egg out of the water.
636. Why is “A” like twelve o’clock?
Answer: Because it is in the middle of the day.
637. If 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
Answer: 9
638. What peels like an onion but still remains whole?
Answer: A lizard.
639. My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured. Thin, I am quick. Fat, I am slow. Wind is my foe. What am I?
Answer: A candle.
640. When you go out in a blizzard and you see a vampire, what do you get?
Answer: Frostbite
641. What can you catch but not throw?
Answer: A cold
642. You might be called this animal if someone thinks that you’re afraid. This is something that you might eat, as well as its eggs that it laid. What animal am I?
Answer: A chicken.
643. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
Answer: On their feet
644. Why is distance at sea not measured by miles?
Answer: Because it’s knot
645. What is so fragile that saying its name will make it break?
Answer: Silence.
646. How do you spell candy with two letters?
Answer: C and Y (C-and-Y)
647. What is the most difficult train to catch?
Answer: The 12:50, because it’s 10 to one if you catch it.
648. When does a public speaker steal lumber?
Answer: When he takes the floor.
649. A taxi driver is going down a one-way street the wrong way, and passes at least 10 cops.
Answer: Why is she not caught? She was walking.
650. When my father was 30 years old, I was 9 years old. Now, I am 40 years old, so what will be his age now?
Answer: 61
651. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
Answer: A rash of good luck
652. A plane crashes exactly on the border of the U.S. and Canada. Half the people on board were American and half the people were Canadian. Where do you bury the survivors?
Answer: You don’t bury survivors!
653. What did the duckling say when he saw his first colored Easter egg?
Answer: “Ooh, look at the orange marmalade.”
654. Why did the golfer put on a second pair of pants?
Answer: He hot a hole in one.
655. Everyone has it, but no one can lose it. What is it?
Answer: A shadow.
656. In what time do people do all their talking?
Answer: In a lifetime
657. What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep?
658. Why was the watchdog spinning around and around?
Answer: He was winding himself up.
659. What is the hardest kind of bean to raise on a farm?
Answer: Jelly beans
660. There are five holes in the ground and four seeds. A little boy plants one seed in the second hole. Then, a seed exactly to the right of that seed. Next, he plants a seed in the 5th hole, and finally, he plants a seed four holes to the left of that. Which hole did not get a seed?
Answer: The fourth hole.
661. I hide my treasure in the ground, my tail is big and fluffy. If you spot me in a tree, please don’t call me scruffy. What am I?
Answer: A squirrel.
662. What did the big toe say to the little toe?
Answer: Don’t look now, but there’s a heel following us.
663. If you don’t keep me, I’ll break. What am I?
Answer: A promise.